Gargantuan Bedazzlement

Covering the magnificent since 2011

Why do people hate Gwyneth Paltrow? Because she’s a Sleestak? That’s racist.

PS I thought Gwyneth looked like a Sleestak but until the Google image search I didn’t know they favored the same subtle v-neckline on their chemise.

Inspired by the Vox article and every article about Gwyneth ever.

Full disclosure: Paltrow once pet my dog in the West Village and, another time, stopped her giant black SUV to talk to a friend I was with who she went to high school with. We are that close.

‘Normal’ Barbie doll coming soon: Real women react to Lammily 

Will shorter fatter crowd-funded Barbie be a hit? Real women on what they think of the new plastic babe known as Lammily.

8 Signs It’s Time To Take Your Skills Elsewhere

How do you know when it’s time to leave your job? We know. And by we I mean me.

1. They put snails in your desk

Seriously, WTF?

2. Your dread of Monday is ruining your love of burying hookers in your backyard on Sunday

Also, snails.

3. You don’t respect your co-workers

Have any of them buried a hooker? Doubt it.

4.  You are bored

Your passion is burying hookers and your job gives no burying hookers opportunities.

5. Your potential is being wasted

You find yourself googling “How often do teens run away?”

6. The vending machine

No one has ever purchased Starbursts from it, but there they are, frozen syrupy things frozen in time, mocking all of humanities follies.

7. They tell you to leave and security stands over you as you pack your desk


8. You went to a pricey liberal arts college and write listicles for a living

SFX: Sad Trombone

By Susie Felber

Inspired by Inc. Magazine Should You Leave Your Job: 8 Signs It’s Time to Move On


Proudly Resents, a fantastic podcast about cult movies that you should check out, pointed me to this video of a 3 & 6 year old reviewing A Talking Cat!?! Warning: Underoos.

My kids review “A Talking Cat!?!” on the Proudly Resents podcast, there’s a special YouTube bonus video and the a talking cat movie tumblr picks it all up because of course it picks it up. Good times.

Reasons My Boss Is Crying 

Top 5 Squirrel Chairs

Ikea Gudfadern

Kyle Moriwaki made my dumb dreams come true w/ his quick P-shop action.


Last night’s SOTU proves that America offers equality to people of all races, tie colors, and spray tan hues.

Oscar Schmascar — I made the Witpicks, dawg!

Made exciting crayons tonight.

I made exciting crayons tonight.

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